Californian Dave Zobel took the $250 prize today at the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, an international literary parody contest in wretched writing. Zobel aced thousands of entrants with “Martha Stewart as his muse.” His entry:
“She resolved to end the love affair with Ramon tonight … summarily, like Martha Stewart ripping the sand vein out of a shrimp’s tail … though the term ‘love affair’ now struck her as a ridiculous euphemism … not unlike ’sand vein,’ which is after all an intestine, not a vein … and that tarry substance inside certainly isn’t sand … and that brought her back to Ramon.”
Zobel is the author of Dave Zobel’s Bent Book of Boatspeak: How to Sound Like a Sailor and Know Just Enough to Be Dangerous. Read more on the best of the worst at sfgate.com.
Meet the authors of the California Authors Directory. Visit the directory to discover writers like Christina Meldrum, a Bay Area attorney whose book Madapple was just released this month. “In debut novelist Christina Meldrum's mesmerizing literary mystery, 
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